Today my baby blog is one week old, and even though everything is very fresh, I wanted to say thank you to my brand new followers who have liked, and even left comments on, my posts! As writers, we are different creatures than most–prone to tuck ourselves away in front of the computer writing or curled on the couch engrossed in yet another book. By default, writing is a lonely practice as it is a task one embarks on individually. This is why community, support and feedback is so important, and why I am so glad to get another avenue of that from my blog. When I first started seriously writing my novel, I reached out to two of my favorite former English professors from my alma mater who were published authors; it made me feel inspired and encouraged to start exchanging emails with them. I am excited to attend my first writing conference in two weeks in Las Vegas, where I am not only excited to personally connect with agents, but am also thrilled to have the opportunity to interact with more of my fellow writers! Once again, thanks to all the likes and follows so far on a constant chiaroscuro–stay posted for more on my conference prep and perhaps posting some writing samples from my novel!
novel
Winging It
If someone asked to see the outline I worked from when writing Capacitance, I would have nothing to show. There are those authors who work the story from back to front and those who work it from front to back–I am definitely a front to back type of writer. So front to back that I don’t really even know what the “back” is going to be. Of course, this kind of improvisational writing only works if you are very confident in your characters and have a couple major plot events already in mind as you begin writing. For me, I knew there were a couple twists and turns I wanted to throw into Capacitance, and I just trusted the writing and inserted these events whenever the proper chapter came up. Thus, it came as a total shock to me when I actually finished my first book–I had no outline to tell me I was getting close, just a feeling that it was time to wrap up this first segment of the trilogy. That, and the fact that the word count was nearing 86,000. Not everyone can write like this, and I actually applaud and have some jealousy for those that do work from an outline as occasionally the extreme uncertainty and flexibility of where my story might go causes me stress. Now, moving into the next book, Inductance, I am totally in my improvisational element as the plot of the story gets thicker and thicker. I want to keep the story exciting, but I also want to stay true to my characters–I am constantly reminding myself who they are and what they personally would do or how they would react to a situation. I think it is this train of thought, concentration and focus on the characters as their own independent entities which helps me guide the story along; I find that I don’t need an outline, but rather by staying true to the characters I have created, they can lead the story to where it needs to be.
Necessary Distractions?
Yesterday I took the day off. Out of my office, away from my computer, mini road trip kind of day off. It was nice to get out and enjoy the beautiful golden sunshine of a mellow spring day instead of cursing the piercing shaft of sunlight which always blazes through my office window directly into my retinas as I am trying to write; however, I found myself unable to fully relax the entire day. I felt a strange sense of guilt that I was not sitting at my computer, researching literary agents, practicing my query letters and–most importantly–writing another chapter in my second novel. The latter nagged on my mind the most–I’ve come to realize a certain irritability I take on when there is a chapter of my story sitting in my mind, waiting to be drawn out into words. This feeling can make going to the grocery store an even more tedious task, and can even cause regret at having to attend a social event that would, in most cases, be fun. For me, the feeling was most intense on my drive back home; the day was over, fun was had, but now I wanted more than anything to finish that chapter. It was like a compulsion in my brain while the rest of my body screamed with fatigue. It was very late when I got home and I sat down the days’ shopping spoils in my bedroom, fully intending to forge on into my office and hammer out the chapter, but then my french bulldog, Indy, jumped up on my bed and presented me with the saddest puppy dog eyed plead for sleep I had ever seen, and I relented. In the fresh light of this morning (yes, I am currently wearing a hat to shield my eyes from the eastward facing office window blaze at this moment), I am glad I waited to write my chapter; my brain is fresher after a night of sleep, and I am much more motivated to write now that I’ve had to wait a day. My challenge to myself is to enjoy those days off, savor those necessary distractions and come back to write with even more energy and determination.
Synopsis Struggles
When I tell someone that I am writing a book, their inevitable response is to ask me what it is about; it is a question which is both delightful and dreadful to me–while I love nothing more than sharing my creation with other people (this is, after all, the main draw to getting published), the act of summarizing 86,000 words of painstakingly constructed texts is challenging to say the least. This problem has led me to fumblingly brief explanations that don’t do my work any semblance of justice, or a lengthy saga encompassing way too many details to be called a summary–the most notable of the latter explanatory events involved a one good friend, a couple glasses of wine and a “summary” which took me at least half an hour to explain. However, now, with writers’ conferences coming up, and query letters to be written, the time of the shoddy summary must come to an end. I will not lie and say I am not daunted, nervous and very tempted to procrastinate. However, throughout the process of writing my book, I have learned that just applying oneself to a task generally yields more results than not trying at all! Luckily, I have found some great sources to help with writing a good synopsis, such as this article: http://www.how-to-write-a-book-now.com/how-to-write-a-synopsis.html# If anyone reading this has any other tips or sources on writing a synopsis or query letter which they would like to share, this newbie to the writing/publishing scene would love your recommendations!
As with all of the challenges that I have faced with my writing, I need to face the synopsis with the same confident attitude that I developed while writing Capacitance–no matter how daunting the task, the process becomes much easier once you believe in yourself and begin.
Persistence = Pages
For about the first month after I had started my first novel, the first four chapters just sat there. I enjoyed telling my (non-writer) friends that I had been working on my book, and being able to impress them by having thirty pages done. However, deep inside my inner consciousness, I knew I was still procrastinating. Finally, I began to think about the scope of the story as a whole, and to build confidence in the characters and plot lines I was developing–the number of chapters left to write didn’t scare me, but instead became exciting building blocks to construct my story. This motivation, coupled with a solid dedication to writing one chapter a day (and sometimes more), during the month of February was the turning point for my book–a month had elapsed and I went from being marginally happy to tell my friends I had 25 pages done, to being ecstatic to report I had 25,000 words completed! Trust me, there were some days where forcing myself to write was the hardest struggle, and the work I produced felt like absolute garbage, but then, looking back at those pages, the grim mood at the time of writing does not show through in the voice of the work itself. Examples such as this are just one of the many facets of how I have been gaining confidence as a writer; persistence not only means the pages add up, but your confidence as a writer is built up as well. With that being said, I am off to write the second chapter of my second novel, cheers!
Writer’s Block, Breakups, and Finally Writing My First Novel
All my life, there has been a little voice in the back of my head tell me “Someday, Elise, you will write a book.” It was persistent, and confident, and good at procrastinating my ambition far off into the distant future. After college I will write, I said to myself. Shortly after college graduation, on a hazy, hot Kansas summer day, the idea for my first book floated into my mind like some sort of heat-induced hallucination of creativity. However, an acute case of writer’s block coupled with the busyness of adjusting to post-graduate life hindered the story from going anywhere. That was in 2012–fast forward over two tumultuous years where the few meager attempts to start my book were buried under snowballing personal problems. Finally, at the end of 2014, one week before Christmas, I wrote an introductory chapter which I was happy with–more than happy with. I knew then and there that what I had written was the end of my two and a half years of writer’s block. Ecstasy was shortly replaced with severe angst when, mere days later, my boyfriend of the time broke up with me. It was a devastating blow which sent both my psyche and my writing into a nearly month-long slump. However, one night I went back and read the first chapter I had so gleefully scrawled on a yellow legal pad, and I felt a fresh thrill at how right it sounded. Slowly but surely, I began working on my novel. The chapters came slowly at first, but as January came to a close, February then began to rapidly slip by as I was writing one or two chapters a day. It began to feel so natural–the words had been there for so long, and it felt indescribable to finally become confident and come into my own as a writer. On March 27, almost exactly three months after that terrible break up, I finished my first novel, Capacitance, and the voice in my head now can speak indulgently in the past tense–“I have written a book.” Realizing the first big step of accomplishing a lifelong dream is a surreal feeling, which still hasn’t fully settled in for me yet. As I now begin the daunting task of querying agents, practicing my pitch, and (most challenging of all) continuing to write the next novel in the trilogy, I look forward to sharing my experiences here on A Constant Chiaroscuro.
Elise Marie Hardenburger 